Isn't this supposed to be home? (LA, CA)

This is supposed to be Home

Since I was a little girl,

I have lived scared

 

Thundering gun shots I would hear at night,

When I was alone was when it struck me the most,

I would curl up under my blanket and pray that everything was going to be okay,

But deep down inside,

I knew it wasn’t

The thundering gun shots traumatized me

And I live scared

 

The horrid graffiti scribbled,

Marking “Lennox 13”,

Will forever be a horrible sight,

This was a sign of gang’s territories,

Everywhere I go, and everywhere I turn,

The main sight, distracting me from everything,

I would see it

And I live scared

 

The nights when I could hear people angrily screaming at each other,

or the weird laughs that sounded as if they were drunk,

or maybe the loud rap music they played,

or also the sound of their roaring engines starting,

I couldn’t sleep,

“What if that was my dad? What if I would go through that?” I thought to myself

I painted a vibrant picture in my head,

"What if my dad was the one who didnt really care about me,

But it would haunt me for the rest of the night,

And I live scared

 

Or maybe those gloomy nights,

The ones with the shining stars,

And the warm breeze,

the ones where i chose to stand outside my door to feel the warmth,

But the only thing that ruined it was the sound of cops,

Or the sound of helicopters,

I would sprint back to my house hoping nothing would happen to me,

And I would be scared

 

Saturday nights, when about all I heard was the helicopters above my house,

And I would cry,

Hoping that nothing would happen to me,

And I would cry,

Hoping that everything was going to be okay,

Maybe for me it was all going to be okay,

But for others it wasn’t

And I stayed scared

 

Maybe it was the conversations my mom started,

When I was at the age of knowing my surroundings,

She told,

That I would live afraid,

Afraid of everything around me,

She would tell me to watch out,

She would tell me to take care of myself,

And I asked why,

She would say,

This is a dangerous place; I don’t want you getting hurt

And I was scared

 

As I wrote this, I could hear cops, and loud cars speeding down my street

And til’ this day,

I run to get to my aunts house,

I walk as fast as I can when I'm out,

or I still am scared of walking alone,

in my own neighborhood

I still am scared

 

And I think to myself,

Isn’t this supposed to be home?

Tags: From, I, am

Views: 10

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Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by One Billion Poets on March 11, 2011 at 9:44pm
Great last line!
Permalink Reply by Natalie Gomez on March 11, 2011 at 9:47pm
thanks!
Permalink Reply by Mikayla Grossman on March 11, 2011 at 9:48pm
so good and graphic!!!
Permalink Reply by Natalie Gomez on March 23, 2011 at 9:15pm
thankkss
Permalink Reply by Tessa H on March 11, 2011 at 10:04pm
wow nat! this is so filled with emotion and passion! It's truly a great poem!
Permalink Reply by Natalie Gomez on March 11, 2011 at 10:11pm
Thankkss!!!
Permalink Reply by Olivia P. on March 11, 2011 at 11:45pm
really good (:
Permalink Reply by Natalie Gomez on March 12, 2011 at 3:39pm
thanks
Permalink Reply by alex strong on March 12, 2011 at 1:11pm
nat that's really good! extremely emotional!! i like the last line too1 :P
Permalink Reply by Natalie Gomez on March 12, 2011 at 3:39pm
haah thanks alex!!
Permalink Reply by Jojo F. on March 13, 2011 at 12:32pm
This is soooooo good!!!!
Permalink Reply by Natalie Gomez on March 13, 2011 at 7:37pm
thanks jojo!!!

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